My surgery is less than 48 hours away.
If you followed my updates about my health, you know I’ve tried to avoid this surgery. The reality is: I can’t.
The extent of my condition, though mostly unknown to me (because the surgeons don’t get specific with me in fear that I’ll sue them if something goes wrong) is clearly in a state of functional limbo. I’m clearly, in my mind, healthy enough only to have the surgery which I will need to correct the problem which exists. I have never had any kind of major surgery, so I’m obviously scared. Everything I have been doing has been great for my overall health and well-being and that, inevitably, is why it’s okay to stop being worried and get this done.
I keep thinking about the unknown quantities. It’s the fear that something could go horribly wrong that has me concerned. I have not actually met the surgeon who is supposed to be operating on me. I do not know why, either, and I can assure you: if I find out it’s a resident who is doing the procedure, I will flip out in that hospital on Monday and cause a scene. It’s not that I don’t trust the resident; it’s that I don’t trust doctors in general and (I think you’ll agree) not letting me meet the doctor who is supposed to operate on me seems like a sneaky tactic to purposefully lie to me about who is doing the procedure. It’s what we call “measured care”, and if anyone from the hospital is reading this remember: you were warned.
The medical profession often gets a bad rep because of a handful of problem cases; however, it is clear to me from my reading there is a silent majority of people who have had failures as a result of the medical profession.
And here I am, placing my faith in medicine. But with all I’ve been going through, the pain and the emergency room visits, the horrors to my digestive system and other things, I have to willingly take this risk. Once I get through this, I will have a short period of recovery followed by a healthy and more productive life for myself.
Just wish me luck. Have you or anyone you know/love had any major surgery?
